Funny love quotes from the wits and comedians on romance, dating and marriage.
Harry Burns · Billy Crystal's Harry in When Harry Met Sally... (1989) · Harry's thesis on the drive from Chicago to New York in 1977, which the rest of Nora Ephron's film sets out to disprove.
RuPaul · The source reads: “If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?” · The line that has closed every episode of RuPaul's Drag Race since its 2009 premiere, followed by "Can I get an amen?"; RuPaul says it was inspired by his mother and suspects the sentiment came from a TV preacher he heard as a boy.
Jerome K. Jerome · The opening of his essay on being in love.
François de La Rochefoucauld · The source reads: “There is real love just as there are real ghosts; every person speaks of it, few persons have seen it.” · Maxim 76 of the French duke's cool little book, in the form everyone repeats; the 1871 translation reads "There is real love just as there are real ghosts; every person speaks of it, few persons have seen it."
Friedrich Nietzsche · Zarathustra in the discourse "On Reading and Writing," in Walter Kaufmann's wording; Thomas Common's 1909 version ends "some method in madness."
Often credited to Ingrid Bergman · The definition appears in Evan Esar's Comic Dictionary of 1943; a 1970 newspaper column pinned it on the actress, and it stuck.
Helen Rowland · The popular version trims "go home" and turns "go to sleep" into "fall asleep".
Helen Rowland · From the Prelude of her 1922 collection of epigrams, written as a New York newspaper columnist who called herself the Bachelor Girl.
Alvy Singer · The comedian in Annie Hall (1977) · The source reads: “A relationship, I think is, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.” · Alvy to Annie on the plane home from Los Angeles, as they agree to part; the spoken line has his stammer and a "You know?" in it.
Albert Einstein · The source reads: “Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do, but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.” · Scribbled in 1933 on a letter from a man who argued that gravity, by turning people sideways and upside down as the earth rotates, explained why they do foolish things like falling in love.
Jane Austen · The opening sentence of the novel, and probably the most quoted first line in English fiction.
A saying recorded since the seventeenth century.
Jane Austen · The narrator's mock serious maxim after Catherine Morland first dances with Henry Tilney, in Northanger Abbey, chapter 3.
Phoebe Buffay · Lisa Kudrow's Phoebe in Friends (1994 to 2004) · Phoebe to the others as Rachel kisses Ross after watching the prom video, proof of her theory that lobsters mate for life and Ross and Rachel are each other's lobsters; writer Alexa Junge took the idea from her own husband.
Lady Blessington · From the Irish countess's book of reflections; her spelling was "melodrame."
William Shakespeare · King Henry wooing Princess Katharine of France in plain soldier's English, promising a husband who improves with age.
Often credited to Groucho Marx · Credited to Groucho and to Mae West only decades later; the Boston Post of 28 Nov 1916 has the comedian Raymond Hitchcock saying "Marriage is a great institution; but who wants to live in an institution?" in the musical Betty.
Alain de Botton · A tweet of the philosopher of everyday life.
Helen Rowland · From the "Divorces" section of her second book of reflections.
George Bernard Shaw · Father Keegan in the play Shaw wrote about Ireland.
Oscar Wilde · Lord Goring's line in Act III; Wilde had already printed it as "life-long romance" in his 1894 Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young.
Rita Rudner · Her most famous joke, from her stand-up act; she has been married to the writer Martin Bergman since 1988.
H. L. Mencken · One of the aphorisms in his 1916 pocket book of epigrams; the original has two sentences and a comma after "married".
Zsa Zsa Gabor · Said to Newsweek in 1960, between her third and fourth of nine husbands.
That is every quote on the shelf, all 91 of them.
91 quotes, dealt in a fresh order every day, so the page reads differently each morning, and every quote keeps its own page.
Every quote on GKBook is traced to the book, speech, letter or interview it came from before it is published. A famous line that cannot be traced is kept because people search for it, but it is labelled "Attributed to", and a line that belongs to someone else is labelled "Often credited to" with the real origin beside it.
The first pill opens the author's page with every quote of theirs on GKBook; the others open the categories the quote belongs to, such as Love Quotes or Wisdom Quotes.
Tap the quote to open its own page, which carries a share button and, where a quote card has been made, a Download button for the full-size picture.
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