Could Napoleon have run seven miles across country at Austerlitz? Perhaps it was the other fellow he made run.

Winston Churchill · The Second World War, vol. I, The Gathering Storm (1948), 4 February 1941

I hope I shall be pardoned if I do not confine myself entirely to the uncontroversial methods which I usually practise.

Winston Churchill · House of Commons, 4 December 1952

Winston Churchill · Article “Consistency in Politics”, Pall Mall, July 1927

Winston Churchill · To Michael Collins, who complained that a price had been put on his head

More Funny Quotes

Benjamin Franklin · Poor Richard’s Almanac. July

Anthony Trollope · Phineas Finn (1869), ch. 47

Mark Twain · Following the Equator (1897), Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar, ch. 8

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